Unexplainable Feeling.

How can I hide.
These unexplainable feelings.
How can I deny them.
How can I forget them.

Unexplainable is a joke,
when you know the exact words.
The exact description.
Of what you want and what you need.

It's unexplainable.
How you make my head go round.
And the sense of speaking has never been shared.
How you make me day dream. And it only wants to make me scream!

It's unexplainable.
How much you change daily.
You've got that light switch on your head.
That mood ring on your hand.
Yet, I attempt to be nice. I attempt to think, it was just an off day.
But this is so unexplainable.
Because this is how you are everyday.

It's unexplainable.
How you feel so much pain.
How you could have gone through so much,
and somewhere along the way, not noticed,
how beautiful you really are.
When you search for that mirror. That perfect reflection.
Yet all you get is something that cannot you be pleased by.
Don't worry. I'm not thinking, not at all, that that is a lie.
For it is unexplainable how many times I search for it too.
For what is real. What is beautiful and true.

It's unexplainable.
How I could be so stupid. So deceiving of myself.
To think that something could begin. When there wasn't even a beginning.
To attempt at a grasp of your hand. From a far away. Distant land.
Without these feelings, I would be unexplainable.
This is who I guess you could say I am.
Indecisive. Firm. Weak. Train wreck. Pathetic. Shot down.

It's unexplainable.
How many times a day, I feel like I'm under all their grays.
That when I walk past a reflective surface.
All I can think, is if only I could find new ways.
To be that perfect size. One who doesn't even have to try.
It's unexplainable.
How the littlest, yet largest things in life. Set me off.

Why can't you read that letter.
Why can't you make one thing in life matter.
Why can't you see, the beauty, underneath all that is tattered.
Why can't I believe that I am beautiful.
Why can't I believe that there's a chance with you.
Why can't I believe that I'm not meant to be you.

All of this.

Is so unexplainable.