Just another typical heartbreaker.

I can't see what's before me.

But I thought you might've been involved.

You hurt me. You're still hurting me.

You told me how you felt.

But it was only an easy way out, wasn't it..?

Thought that I'd forget, and move on. Change my mind.

Well I haven't. I can't.

Because something about the way you look at me, or laugh. Or those simple moments we share, that may not be the same for you. But those moments, are the ones where I believe this could change.

But I can't possibly be that stupid.

Why did I believe. In everything that was put in front of me.

Because now, it all seems fake. Untrue, and full of devision.

So I hope, that one day you'll see, just how much I care. Or that you'll explain to me.

What happened here. What happened at that park, that made you say those things, but act differently.

Just promise me.

You will be truthful.

Honesty is all I ask for.

Sincerely,

Just another typical broken heart.

An Anonymous Letter to the maker.

I'm so tired of running.

I need to breathe.

I want to breathe you in.

This is it. This is the End.

How did I get to this place.

This place of complete depletion. This room full of lies.

How did I end up here.

In this state of complete and utter failure.

Oh God, how did I get here.

I could say I blame him, he tempted me. So it's his fault.

I could blame this world I live in.

I could hide in a corner. And have complete self pity over myself.

But I don't see that happening.

Oh God. How did I get to this place, that I thought I'd abandoned so long ago.

And now, I'm really stuck.

I've completely lost it. The urge to fight. The desire to overcome this battle.

Why is this happening. I feel so all alone.

I am the girl, clothed in garments of gold, but on the inside, I am dying.

I cry myself to sleep on the inside. Begging for a way out.

But you'd never know it would you.

I am the girl, in the tattered rags, the one tossed to the side,

because my problems are too large for this world to deal with.

But the funny thing is, I'd fit right in..

I am the girl begging for a change. But not believing in one.

I don't know where I'm at.

I can't crawl back.

I can't be forgiven.

Not this time. My second chances are over. They have had to run out by now.

I've gotten my wish I suppose.

The wanting of being shoved to the side. Forgotten, delivered from the hand of grace.

Now I'm sinking in this pit. Being pulled violently under. And fast.

Is there no one to rescue me..?

I feel the loss of your name. The meaning, the desire, the love.

But this, cannot possibly be true.

Everything I know, all of who I am.

Is within you.

It cannot disappear this fast.

This happens every time.

Every time I fall, I feel ugly. Worthless. Like there's no way out. No meaning.

And I beg. Every time. To be taken back, to be forgiven. Loved and have it all forgotten.

But this has to be the end.

I cannot be picked up again. I've become to heavy. Overwhelmed with destruction and failure.

Please. I beg of you. Don't throw me to the street, oh, not just yet God.

Show me the meaning. Of who I am, and why I'm going through this.

Let someone ask me. Push me to be truthful. Not to hide this any longer.

This is it,

this is the end.

A belt of Uncertainty.

I'm not sure.

What to think. Or where to go.

Where to hide. Or what to say.

God, this can't truly be this difficult can it?

I see what I'm learning. Patience. Honesty.

But even though, all that I want to see, is you.

Where I want to be, is in your arms.

What I want to see, are those blue eyes, smiling down at me.

That sweater you wear. The way you laugh, at my incompetent jokes, or attempts we shall call them.

I wish with all that I am, for this to be real.

For what I've been told, the stories I've begun to unfold.

For this fairy tale, to take me away.

I've got a King. I am His daughter.

But one day, the Princess, must find someone right? The King, must give her the Prince.

God, please let this be it.

Please, let this be the time it all changes.

God, give me the strength . To accept what I cannot render, or change.

And to accept, that you've got a plan. And I'll never be able to render that one.

The only exception.

Have I ever told you.

Darling, you are. The only exception.

You've got the eyes.

And I've got the lies. Let's hold this together.

Hold back words. It's been forever.

This is a lovely hand to hold.

The weather, it's oh so cold.

All this feels like nonsense.

Am I losing my conscience?

This nightmare,

will it really unfold?

I can't stand this.

I hate the way I feel, I feel tonight.

This just isn't right.

You've got the eyes.

And I've got the lies.

Let's hold this together.

Hold back words. It's been forever. Please. Don't hold back.

All that's about to make me crack.

Just tell me,

all you've ever wanted to.

Because as of now.

There's no reason not to.

And you've got the eyes.

And I've got the lies.

Let's hold this together.

And let's not hold back these words.

It's been forever.

Darling, you are. The only exception.

It's worth the call.

Dear Three rounds and a fourth.

It's not that hard to see. That I like you, and you like me.

So stop making me wait.

Come on over.

Don't be afraid to jump.

I'll take your hand.

Sincerely,

Dreamer with a card.

Come as you are. He's the one you need.

She's picking them up.

Piling them in her hands.

These chains, these rags, dripping red they hang.

They pile above her.

But she manages. She manages to walk,

like nothing's wrong.

Like it's all beneath her.

She peeks through them.

Walking through the crowds.

But for some reason, through her agonizing expression

her tear streaked, blood stained face,

she draws no attention.

"No one cares, I know that." She says.

And all of the sudden, she falls.

She's been tripped.

She looks up, only to see him standing there.

"Why hello my child." He says in a soft, acid filled whisper.

"Here I have things for you." And he piled more rags, and chains.

"These are what you've been dropping and leaving behind."

She could feel the sensation of a burning fire inside her. But there were no words for her to describe it. Tears filled her eyes. And she collapsed.

All of the sudden, she felt a tight grasp around her arm.

"Oh what now, do you have more for me to carry? Can't you see this is already to much?" She sobbed quietly.

But there was no response.

He helped her up. With nothing in her arms, and he began to pick it up. All of it.

"W-W-What are you doing?"

"I'm carrying you through. My child, my beloved. I love you."

She fell to her knees in awe, and in humility. The one she longed for, the one she could never find. Had found her, and rescued her. But she couldn't actually let Him take all of that pain, that anguish.

That Sin.

"No, you can't do this. This is too much to carry."

But before she knew it, He had thrown the chains over His shoulders

And draped the rags on his arms.

She couldn't control it. This feeling she had, that burning fire within her. It was a desire to be loved, to be rescued. To be saved.

"My child, lift your shaking hands. Don't say a word. I'll stay with you. The tears will heal

the pain. You shouldn't be ashamed to come undone. And fall down. And let me carry you. I'll carry you. You can come, as you are. You can never fall to far. You can run, into my arms. And I will heal your broken heart."

Man down.

I just feel so done.

Like when you're lost and tired and out of everything you have,

and you fall to the ground and give up.

I'm there. I'm on the dirt with nothing left,

it's pouring, and its dreary,

dreary and dark.

I feel like there's no way back.

Like all doors and windows are closed,

like all freeways and back alleys have

road blocks.

I've tried so hard.

So hard.

But I'm just a broken mess now.

I'm in pieces,

I've felt so strong before, now I feel so weak.

I know you want to help.

Everyone seems to,

but it seems that the one person that I should have helping me,

I constantly push away

I'm here again.

A thousand miles away from you. A broken mess,

just scattered pieces of who I am. I

tried so hard. Thought I could do this on my own.

I've lost so much along the way.

I don't know how. I

just wish I could have a ladder right now.

A flashlight.

A candle.

I think I've given up on all hope of a rescue.

Man down.

Watery Grave.

My ship.

It's down.

The sails.

They don't fly in the wind.

And I'm here. To stay.

I've lost dock. I can't find my way.

My oar, it's snapped.

My compass. Demagnetized.

I need your voice.

Oh, tell me you're here.

When I start to jump.

You jump in to save me.

God I'm crying out to you. Help me.

Cause I can't set myself free.

The waves, their crashing over me.

I need your guidance God.

Take my life, and make it yours.

I need your voice.

You're who I'm counting on.

Tell me you're here.

That you will watch over me.

I need your voice.

Take hold of my heart.

Show me you I pray.

Give me the words to say.

But I still feel stuck on this abandoned ship.

Am I going to fall into this grave?

This

Watery Grave.

Last compromise.

I never understood this.

I never knew why.

Those looks we say.

The words we see.

I'll never truly understand me.

To rise.

To love again.

To fall.

In hopes of a new beginning.

I remember what you told me.

I and Love and You.

God I'm begging you. Help me see...

"Hope is what we crave. And that will never change"

-Crave - Joel and Luke

6.797.000.000.

The bench.
It's cold.
Her heart.
It's locked.

That night.
It's dark. Dreary. Lonesome.
Her eyes.
They're wet.

Her cheeks.
They burn.
She's only looking for one thing.
A new way.
To turn.

That bathroom.
It reeks.
Those walls.
They're unseeing.

The words.
Unloving.
Her thoughts.
They never leave.

Her numbness.
Only seething.
She's never felt.
What it's really like.

To not be alone.
On that dreary night.

So help her out.
Out of that room.
That dark and cold and
weary room.

Take her hand.
Show her love.
Show her it's from God above.

TWLOHA<3

Running in circles.

Why do I feel like this. My hands shake, my heart races. My head is sent spinning.

Watching you play piano and guitar...I melt. All over again.

I know I said I wouldn't do this again.. Trust me. I'm not. Atleast I don't think I will.

I promised you I wouldn't. So that's a promise I'm going to try to keep.

I constantly pray about it.

What am I supposed to do God. What am I supposed to say, where am I supposed to go.

But yet I can't ever get you out of my head. But is this just me wanting something because I feel like I need it?

Something that's just in my head for no reason of anything, anything at all.

Or is it real. Am I supposed to act upon what I'm not sure of.

Of all the people I've told. Of all the times I've gone back and forth. Where do I go now.

Back or forth?

What if I do, and you go away next year. What if I'm asked to be that special occasion's special date? What if you break up with me like you did her. Because of some other girl.

It's not supposed to be like this. I said no. I can't go back now. But I can't move forward wither. You never could talk to my face. Prove to me, how you really felt. Most guys are like that.

At least the ones that made my heart melt.

Now as I say goodbye, to what is wrong but feels so right. Or what is right, but is so wrong. I'll never tell you, because that's just how it is. I made a promise, and I need to learn to keep it.

So here's to the future. A future without you.

How to save a life.

I never knew.
I never knew that everyone was falling through.

I see you waiting over there, alright lets move.
We're falling faster than anytime before.
It's true.

But I know that he's brought us through.

Immediatly I feel helpless and weak.
But your love never fails.

I'm uncertain of the future.
Uncertain
If all my dreams are going to come true.
Or come crashing down.

These weakest moments.
They become our defining moments.

Nothing can seperate us..
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails.

You know I'll fail.
You've seen me fall.
Time and Time again.

When the oceans rage. And I fall in.
Your love never fails.




God whispers to us in our pleasures.
He talks to us in our confidence.
But He shouts to us in our pain.
It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
-C.S Lewis

The Edge of the Ocean.

Without a thought.

Without a word.

Without that tiny little bird.

I hear a whisper.

A voice inside my head.

"Do it.

"What else could you have to do instead."

I'm at that place. Where I can't feel.

Where nothing in this world seems real.

I'm inside that box.

That empty little box.

I can't find the seams. This must just be a really bad dream.

But if this was a dream,

I wouldn't feel so ashamed.

I wouldn't want to hang my feet off the edge of a cliff.

Just going, gone.

Drift.

But I am so sick of falling.

So sick of trying to catch up. Why am I so far gone.

I feel something grab at me.

I feel something pull me from the edge.

The mist of the sea,

It builds a quiet ledge.

A ledge of for my memories.

A ledge for my regrets.

The ones that I get all lost and twisted.

What a mess.

But you have me.

I'm not falling.

I'm only dangling.

Dangling from the sea mist's ledge.

And now I'm holding on for dear life.

Amazing...<3

Disgrace. Dishonor. Attaint. VS. Redemption

She stands there.
At the end of the road.
Broken and Beaten.
Shattered and Forgotten.
By the ones who said they'd always be there.
By the ones that said I'll always care.

What is the word.
Right. Secluded.
Unwanted and pushed aside.
She couldn't even dig down deep.
To find her pride.

And as she stands in front of all those shadows.
Grave and degrading.
She looks up, but only to see disgrace, dishonor, attaint.
All standing on the stairs.
Their eyes, darting back and forth.
Shooting evil glares.

Step forward.
Disgrace.

Disgrace, starts off first.
Quietly but firm.
"She's lost in it. Now is the time to take advantage." He tells them.
"She's a fallen creation.
Put out of grace and favor."

Step back.
Disgrace.

Step forward.
Dishonor.

Dishonor has only one thing in mind.
To show her, these failed attempts. To slap her with her used and bruised honor.
He lets her know who's boss.
And then sends her identity out the window.
Toss.

Step back.
Dishonor.

Step forward.
Attaint.

This is where her final judgment is upheld.
"She will be condemned by this sentence" He reads...

But before Attaint can accuse her of everything she's done wrong.
Redemption walks through the door.

"Drat. Almost had her boys." whispers Disgrace.

Redemption slowly steps to her side.
And among Disgrace, Dishonor and Attaint, he lies his hand on her shoulder.
While her tears begin to fall.
His soft, silent spoken whispers are louder than Attaints.

"I love you." He whispers.
"You're my child. I forgive you."

Slowly the hands of Disgrace,
Dishonor,
and Attaint begin to fade off her shoulder.

She now stands at the end of the road.
In front of her is Redemption.
Cause this for her,
is Redemptions new road.

Handwritten. To You.

Dearest you. First off let me say;
Oh how I love you.
You've always been there for me.
Not matter where, no matter when. No matter the amount of lifeguard stairs to drend.
I'll never leave you. I'll always support you.
I'm always there to court and lead you. And though, I like a mother, and you like my child; I tale you under my wing..
We've grown up together in eight short weeks.
Even through all the bunk bed nights gone wild.
So remember, I'll love you till the end.

No matter how many ______ years old you are.

Sincerely,
Mongoose.

Love. It's true Aggression.

Love.
All this progression.
You're constantly on my mind.
What is this. What should it be.

Succession.
It's the world I wisht to hear the most.
You're smile. It helps me to unwind.
How deep should I go.
How deep.
Should I fall.

I still want.
At least to be able.
To crawl.

You make me feel, oh so happy.
I gaunt over you. Day and night.

All those songs.
You told me too see.
Risk.
Are you sure you'll take one with me..?

Aggression.
This love is flaring.
This need is all to daring.
Hold me in your arms.
Never let me fall down.

Unexplainable Feeling.

How can I hide.
These unexplainable feelings.
How can I deny them.
How can I forget them.

Unexplainable is a joke,
when you know the exact words.
The exact description.
Of what you want and what you need.

It's unexplainable.
How you make my head go round.
And the sense of speaking has never been shared.
How you make me day dream. And it only wants to make me scream!

It's unexplainable.
How much you change daily.
You've got that light switch on your head.
That mood ring on your hand.
Yet, I attempt to be nice. I attempt to think, it was just an off day.
But this is so unexplainable.
Because this is how you are everyday.

It's unexplainable.
How you feel so much pain.
How you could have gone through so much,
and somewhere along the way, not noticed,
how beautiful you really are.
When you search for that mirror. That perfect reflection.
Yet all you get is something that cannot you be pleased by.
Don't worry. I'm not thinking, not at all, that that is a lie.
For it is unexplainable how many times I search for it too.
For what is real. What is beautiful and true.

It's unexplainable.
How I could be so stupid. So deceiving of myself.
To think that something could begin. When there wasn't even a beginning.
To attempt at a grasp of your hand. From a far away. Distant land.
Without these feelings, I would be unexplainable.
This is who I guess you could say I am.
Indecisive. Firm. Weak. Train wreck. Pathetic. Shot down.

It's unexplainable.
How many times a day, I feel like I'm under all their grays.
That when I walk past a reflective surface.
All I can think, is if only I could find new ways.
To be that perfect size. One who doesn't even have to try.
It's unexplainable.
How the littlest, yet largest things in life. Set me off.

Why can't you read that letter.
Why can't you make one thing in life matter.
Why can't you see, the beauty, underneath all that is tattered.
Why can't I believe that I am beautiful.
Why can't I believe that there's a chance with you.
Why can't I believe that I'm not meant to be you.

All of this.

Is so unexplainable.

Letter to you.

Dearest you,

I don't know if you know me. Know if I exist. Know anything.
But I wish to.
I remember that day that I saw you. That day that everything changed.
Am I just pulling myself on a twisted path, not knowing where I will be dragged to next.
Or is this where I'm supposed to go?
Your eyes, they were filled with kindness. Your face, your smile. Amazing.
I got that sense of knowing, that you were better than most.
You could sacrifice everything you are,
for something you love.
You care. You give. You love.
All that I could possibly dream of, would be that one day, you'd know I exist on this lonely planet.
You'd know anything and everything. And that something big, something would come out of this.
But I know that there's nothing I can say. Because I don't know where you stand, or what you think.
Is there another she? Or are you one of those who just doesn't want to be part of that scene.
I'd understand either way. But I think it's too late.
If I were to have the news broken to me now, it would only take a couple days,
hopefully, to get over it.
But what if this is more than I think. Or less.
I'll never know.
But all I can do is try. Attempt to show you who I am,
and show you the amazing things that I see, without even knowing your basics.
So dearest human, I ask, that when I see you next, we can try.
But please, if this isn't right. Oh how I ask God to show me.
I don't want another failed attempt.
Not another bloody romance.
And even though I swore I would never fall again.
It's not my fault.
You tripped me.

Sincerely,
Truly.Madly.Deeply.