Come as you are. He's the one you need.

She's picking them up.

Piling them in her hands.

These chains, these rags, dripping red they hang.

They pile above her.

But she manages. She manages to walk,

like nothing's wrong.

Like it's all beneath her.

She peeks through them.

Walking through the crowds.

But for some reason, through her agonizing expression

her tear streaked, blood stained face,

she draws no attention.

"No one cares, I know that." She says.

And all of the sudden, she falls.

She's been tripped.

She looks up, only to see him standing there.

"Why hello my child." He says in a soft, acid filled whisper.

"Here I have things for you." And he piled more rags, and chains.

"These are what you've been dropping and leaving behind."

She could feel the sensation of a burning fire inside her. But there were no words for her to describe it. Tears filled her eyes. And she collapsed.

All of the sudden, she felt a tight grasp around her arm.

"Oh what now, do you have more for me to carry? Can't you see this is already to much?" She sobbed quietly.

But there was no response.

He helped her up. With nothing in her arms, and he began to pick it up. All of it.

"W-W-What are you doing?"

"I'm carrying you through. My child, my beloved. I love you."

She fell to her knees in awe, and in humility. The one she longed for, the one she could never find. Had found her, and rescued her. But she couldn't actually let Him take all of that pain, that anguish.

That Sin.

"No, you can't do this. This is too much to carry."

But before she knew it, He had thrown the chains over His shoulders

And draped the rags on his arms.

She couldn't control it. This feeling she had, that burning fire within her. It was a desire to be loved, to be rescued. To be saved.

"My child, lift your shaking hands. Don't say a word. I'll stay with you. The tears will heal

the pain. You shouldn't be ashamed to come undone. And fall down. And let me carry you. I'll carry you. You can come, as you are. You can never fall to far. You can run, into my arms. And I will heal your broken heart."

Man down.

I just feel so done.

Like when you're lost and tired and out of everything you have,

and you fall to the ground and give up.

I'm there. I'm on the dirt with nothing left,

it's pouring, and its dreary,

dreary and dark.

I feel like there's no way back.

Like all doors and windows are closed,

like all freeways and back alleys have

road blocks.

I've tried so hard.

So hard.

But I'm just a broken mess now.

I'm in pieces,

I've felt so strong before, now I feel so weak.

I know you want to help.

Everyone seems to,

but it seems that the one person that I should have helping me,

I constantly push away

I'm here again.

A thousand miles away from you. A broken mess,

just scattered pieces of who I am. I

tried so hard. Thought I could do this on my own.

I've lost so much along the way.

I don't know how. I

just wish I could have a ladder right now.

A flashlight.

A candle.

I think I've given up on all hope of a rescue.

Man down.

Watery Grave.

My ship.

It's down.

The sails.

They don't fly in the wind.

And I'm here. To stay.

I've lost dock. I can't find my way.

My oar, it's snapped.

My compass. Demagnetized.

I need your voice.

Oh, tell me you're here.

When I start to jump.

You jump in to save me.

God I'm crying out to you. Help me.

Cause I can't set myself free.

The waves, their crashing over me.

I need your guidance God.

Take my life, and make it yours.

I need your voice.

You're who I'm counting on.

Tell me you're here.

That you will watch over me.

I need your voice.

Take hold of my heart.

Show me you I pray.

Give me the words to say.

But I still feel stuck on this abandoned ship.

Am I going to fall into this grave?

This

Watery Grave.

Last compromise.

I never understood this.

I never knew why.

Those looks we say.

The words we see.

I'll never truly understand me.

To rise.

To love again.

To fall.

In hopes of a new beginning.

I remember what you told me.

I and Love and You.

God I'm begging you. Help me see...

"Hope is what we crave. And that will never change"

-Crave - Joel and Luke

6.797.000.000.

The bench.
It's cold.
Her heart.
It's locked.

That night.
It's dark. Dreary. Lonesome.
Her eyes.
They're wet.

Her cheeks.
They burn.
She's only looking for one thing.
A new way.
To turn.

That bathroom.
It reeks.
Those walls.
They're unseeing.

The words.
Unloving.
Her thoughts.
They never leave.

Her numbness.
Only seething.
She's never felt.
What it's really like.

To not be alone.
On that dreary night.

So help her out.
Out of that room.
That dark and cold and
weary room.

Take her hand.
Show her love.
Show her it's from God above.

TWLOHA<3

Running in circles.

Why do I feel like this. My hands shake, my heart races. My head is sent spinning.

Watching you play piano and guitar...I melt. All over again.

I know I said I wouldn't do this again.. Trust me. I'm not. Atleast I don't think I will.

I promised you I wouldn't. So that's a promise I'm going to try to keep.

I constantly pray about it.

What am I supposed to do God. What am I supposed to say, where am I supposed to go.

But yet I can't ever get you out of my head. But is this just me wanting something because I feel like I need it?

Something that's just in my head for no reason of anything, anything at all.

Or is it real. Am I supposed to act upon what I'm not sure of.

Of all the people I've told. Of all the times I've gone back and forth. Where do I go now.

Back or forth?

What if I do, and you go away next year. What if I'm asked to be that special occasion's special date? What if you break up with me like you did her. Because of some other girl.

It's not supposed to be like this. I said no. I can't go back now. But I can't move forward wither. You never could talk to my face. Prove to me, how you really felt. Most guys are like that.

At least the ones that made my heart melt.

Now as I say goodbye, to what is wrong but feels so right. Or what is right, but is so wrong. I'll never tell you, because that's just how it is. I made a promise, and I need to learn to keep it.

So here's to the future. A future without you.

How to save a life.

I never knew.
I never knew that everyone was falling through.

I see you waiting over there, alright lets move.
We're falling faster than anytime before.
It's true.

But I know that he's brought us through.

Immediatly I feel helpless and weak.
But your love never fails.

I'm uncertain of the future.
Uncertain
If all my dreams are going to come true.
Or come crashing down.

These weakest moments.
They become our defining moments.

Nothing can seperate us..
Even if I ran away
Your love never fails.

You know I'll fail.
You've seen me fall.
Time and Time again.

When the oceans rage. And I fall in.
Your love never fails.




God whispers to us in our pleasures.
He talks to us in our confidence.
But He shouts to us in our pain.
It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
-C.S Lewis

The Edge of the Ocean.

Without a thought.

Without a word.

Without that tiny little bird.

I hear a whisper.

A voice inside my head.

"Do it.

"What else could you have to do instead."

I'm at that place. Where I can't feel.

Where nothing in this world seems real.

I'm inside that box.

That empty little box.

I can't find the seams. This must just be a really bad dream.

But if this was a dream,

I wouldn't feel so ashamed.

I wouldn't want to hang my feet off the edge of a cliff.

Just going, gone.

Drift.

But I am so sick of falling.

So sick of trying to catch up. Why am I so far gone.

I feel something grab at me.

I feel something pull me from the edge.

The mist of the sea,

It builds a quiet ledge.

A ledge of for my memories.

A ledge for my regrets.

The ones that I get all lost and twisted.

What a mess.

But you have me.

I'm not falling.

I'm only dangling.

Dangling from the sea mist's ledge.

And now I'm holding on for dear life.

Amazing...<3

Disgrace. Dishonor. Attaint. VS. Redemption

She stands there.
At the end of the road.
Broken and Beaten.
Shattered and Forgotten.
By the ones who said they'd always be there.
By the ones that said I'll always care.

What is the word.
Right. Secluded.
Unwanted and pushed aside.
She couldn't even dig down deep.
To find her pride.

And as she stands in front of all those shadows.
Grave and degrading.
She looks up, but only to see disgrace, dishonor, attaint.
All standing on the stairs.
Their eyes, darting back and forth.
Shooting evil glares.

Step forward.
Disgrace.

Disgrace, starts off first.
Quietly but firm.
"She's lost in it. Now is the time to take advantage." He tells them.
"She's a fallen creation.
Put out of grace and favor."

Step back.
Disgrace.

Step forward.
Dishonor.

Dishonor has only one thing in mind.
To show her, these failed attempts. To slap her with her used and bruised honor.
He lets her know who's boss.
And then sends her identity out the window.
Toss.

Step back.
Dishonor.

Step forward.
Attaint.

This is where her final judgment is upheld.
"She will be condemned by this sentence" He reads...

But before Attaint can accuse her of everything she's done wrong.
Redemption walks through the door.

"Drat. Almost had her boys." whispers Disgrace.

Redemption slowly steps to her side.
And among Disgrace, Dishonor and Attaint, he lies his hand on her shoulder.
While her tears begin to fall.
His soft, silent spoken whispers are louder than Attaints.

"I love you." He whispers.
"You're my child. I forgive you."

Slowly the hands of Disgrace,
Dishonor,
and Attaint begin to fade off her shoulder.

She now stands at the end of the road.
In front of her is Redemption.
Cause this for her,
is Redemptions new road.

Handwritten. To You.

Dearest you. First off let me say;
Oh how I love you.
You've always been there for me.
Not matter where, no matter when. No matter the amount of lifeguard stairs to drend.
I'll never leave you. I'll always support you.
I'm always there to court and lead you. And though, I like a mother, and you like my child; I tale you under my wing..
We've grown up together in eight short weeks.
Even through all the bunk bed nights gone wild.
So remember, I'll love you till the end.

No matter how many ______ years old you are.

Sincerely,
Mongoose.

Love. It's true Aggression.

Love.
All this progression.
You're constantly on my mind.
What is this. What should it be.

Succession.
It's the world I wisht to hear the most.
You're smile. It helps me to unwind.
How deep should I go.
How deep.
Should I fall.

I still want.
At least to be able.
To crawl.

You make me feel, oh so happy.
I gaunt over you. Day and night.

All those songs.
You told me too see.
Risk.
Are you sure you'll take one with me..?

Aggression.
This love is flaring.
This need is all to daring.
Hold me in your arms.
Never let me fall down.

Unexplainable Feeling.

How can I hide.
These unexplainable feelings.
How can I deny them.
How can I forget them.

Unexplainable is a joke,
when you know the exact words.
The exact description.
Of what you want and what you need.

It's unexplainable.
How you make my head go round.
And the sense of speaking has never been shared.
How you make me day dream. And it only wants to make me scream!

It's unexplainable.
How much you change daily.
You've got that light switch on your head.
That mood ring on your hand.
Yet, I attempt to be nice. I attempt to think, it was just an off day.
But this is so unexplainable.
Because this is how you are everyday.

It's unexplainable.
How you feel so much pain.
How you could have gone through so much,
and somewhere along the way, not noticed,
how beautiful you really are.
When you search for that mirror. That perfect reflection.
Yet all you get is something that cannot you be pleased by.
Don't worry. I'm not thinking, not at all, that that is a lie.
For it is unexplainable how many times I search for it too.
For what is real. What is beautiful and true.

It's unexplainable.
How I could be so stupid. So deceiving of myself.
To think that something could begin. When there wasn't even a beginning.
To attempt at a grasp of your hand. From a far away. Distant land.
Without these feelings, I would be unexplainable.
This is who I guess you could say I am.
Indecisive. Firm. Weak. Train wreck. Pathetic. Shot down.

It's unexplainable.
How many times a day, I feel like I'm under all their grays.
That when I walk past a reflective surface.
All I can think, is if only I could find new ways.
To be that perfect size. One who doesn't even have to try.
It's unexplainable.
How the littlest, yet largest things in life. Set me off.

Why can't you read that letter.
Why can't you make one thing in life matter.
Why can't you see, the beauty, underneath all that is tattered.
Why can't I believe that I am beautiful.
Why can't I believe that there's a chance with you.
Why can't I believe that I'm not meant to be you.

All of this.

Is so unexplainable.

Letter to you.

Dearest you,

I don't know if you know me. Know if I exist. Know anything.
But I wish to.
I remember that day that I saw you. That day that everything changed.
Am I just pulling myself on a twisted path, not knowing where I will be dragged to next.
Or is this where I'm supposed to go?
Your eyes, they were filled with kindness. Your face, your smile. Amazing.
I got that sense of knowing, that you were better than most.
You could sacrifice everything you are,
for something you love.
You care. You give. You love.
All that I could possibly dream of, would be that one day, you'd know I exist on this lonely planet.
You'd know anything and everything. And that something big, something would come out of this.
But I know that there's nothing I can say. Because I don't know where you stand, or what you think.
Is there another she? Or are you one of those who just doesn't want to be part of that scene.
I'd understand either way. But I think it's too late.
If I were to have the news broken to me now, it would only take a couple days,
hopefully, to get over it.
But what if this is more than I think. Or less.
I'll never know.
But all I can do is try. Attempt to show you who I am,
and show you the amazing things that I see, without even knowing your basics.
So dearest human, I ask, that when I see you next, we can try.
But please, if this isn't right. Oh how I ask God to show me.
I don't want another failed attempt.
Not another bloody romance.
And even though I swore I would never fall again.
It's not my fault.
You tripped me.

Sincerely,
Truly.Madly.Deeply.

Are we all forgotten.

Why can't I see.
Those signs you put infront of me.

This fake me I wear.
All I can't do is be free.

The rain. Slaming at my window.
This pain. It's jamming.
Harder and harder against me.
Pushing me farther and farther down.
Down, and away from you.

I feel like I've lost this race. The last one I'll run.
I know I should have fallen from your grace.
I am expected to be shuned.

Are we all forgotten.
It sure feels like I am. No.
Like I should be.

But you keep giving me these things.
Called second chances.
I don't know why I always get them.
When I know I should be turned away...

Put on the street. Forgotten
I see those who have succeeded.
I only wish to grasp what they have.
To wash my hands of this disease.

But I'll just keep on pushing. To get out of these chains I constantly reach for.
Cause I know I'm not forgotten.

I love you.

Fallen Awake.

Tonight.
I feel nothing.
The shame and anger that once rest upon me. No longer sits, gaping over my shoulder.
Tonight I am hiding. From all that I am. And all that I wish too be.
Cause please, you can't possibly want me.

Tonight.
I regret everything.
These nights when I fall.
Where are your hands that are supposedly holding me?

Tonight.
I wish upon a shooting star.
For its too late.
I've fallen awake.
I cannot forget what I've done.

Begging.
That you would be as disgusted with me as I am with myself.
Pleading.
For you to give up on me.
Stressing.
The fact that I have only one option.

But you've paid that price. Taken my sin and my shame. Leaving me empty. Yet renewed.
Even though I feel beaten and used.
These lies Iim believing.
Those truths, I'm still not seeing.

I know you haven't given up. And I don't want to.
But what if that is my last option.
Please I beg of you.

Give me the strength. Break me down. Build me anew.
But please, don't just bring me to my knees. I ask of you,
bring me too see, all that is within me.
Bring me to feel, all that is real, and unreal.
Bring me to realize, that if I only opened my eyes...

For I've Fallen Awake.

Harder than the first time.

What was I thinking. Getting involved in this.
Oh right, I remember. I was trying to be the good friend.
The caring one, who was there through thick and thin.
Well this is wearing pretty thin.

All Systems. Down.

I fall again.
Harder than before.
I come to your door.
Begging for more.

But I know you couldn't possibly want me.
Why, look at me. What would you see?

I tell you I'm sorry, then beg for your grace, oh your glory.
Then the next thing I know, I lie.
I can't even say I try anymore. I feel alone.
I feel the effects of my failures, my losses.

It took my hand, said "Don't be afraid."
So I thought deep and hard. Yes I can't even believe.
I prayed.

Now, as I stand...wait. Fall. Harder than before.
I'm here, I'm here.
Begging for more.

I'm begging for your mercy. But I know I don't deserve it.
I'm on my knees, wanting something I can't have.
Because what you give is a gift.
And I'm too selfish, to deserve something from you. Oh, even that wonderful gift.

So please now, why won't you shun me.
Because I know, that lie, he can outrun me.
I know what the dawn of next day brings.

Me, myself and I.
Asking for your forgiveness.
Begging for you, please.

But as I sit here, I pray.
That my skies would be grey, my regrets. Out weigh my day.
That I would know myself. Know my failures, know my doubts.
That I would see, that you would see.
What I truly deserve.

So now I sit.
Waiting for the next hit.
Falling harder than before.

Wanting you.
Begging for more.

Tonight, I love you. Tomorrow...

Love, it's OVER RATED.
But I just can't help but wonder. Why didn't we. After that bus ride, that long grueling bus ride. Things had blossomed. This was going to be something more. Something amazing.
It started off slow, and it seemed pretty right. But you didn't know me. And I was going to run. Run into the night.
I ran, ran away. But now, regretting I ever turned to stray. We worked so well, everyone could tell. But why did I have to make that one last mistake.
Now, I think about it, more and more. Wondering, why did I ever WALK OUT THAT DOOR.
You told me I had beautiful eyes. Everything I said, those days I ran. They were only silly little LIES.
Now we talk, now we walk. But you're not in front of me.
I miss you. Knowing you were there to comfort me. Knowing we had something going, you see.
So now, every time I see you. My heart still skips a beat. But I know I've lost you for good. I wish I knew what you thought. Every time we were around. When our eyes met, you know there's things I regret. Regret of thinking I could have you. Regret of thinking I was good enough. Regret of losing you.
But there's a twist. A grueling twist. I've got a close one. A drama filled friend. She see's you too. And is hurt, oh so true. And yet it was possible for me to over look that. And pick you, out of the few in that hat. I wish you would admit, that you know what you did. The pain you've put her through, the tears she's cried, OH SO TRUE. 

But now you've changed. I know you can see it. I just don't know how to treat it. You were so different before, now what made you and change to the core. I miss who you were. The one I once knew. And I know, it's still under you. But know that I've hurt you too. Your heart is under real lock down. It's secure and tight. I hate knowing what I did, and what I didn't do. So let me ask you a question. You like to take chances, you took a chance on me. And now, I'm barely one you see. So maybe, I'll take a chance too, and maybe one day, I'll have you. But for now, I'll take that leap, soaring over the gap of yesterday and been here before. I'm not going to promise, that I'll always hold back. If so, I'll be stuck on this unending railroad track.

So know.
That tonight I love you.
And tomorrow...
Well tomorrow I'll still keep it true.

The Latency - Tonight, I love you.

Dear Lies.

Emptiness.

Lacking.

Faith.

Dear Lies.
The day that you opened my door, and walked into my life. I felt something new. I felt something that I had never felt before. But yet did I have to find out, that this wasn't a good feeling. You closed the rest of my windows, and locked my doors. And I let you. You came in. Dressing me in satisfaction and deceit. You fed me lies and undyingly poured my glass fuller and fuller. I began too forget the rest of the world. Sinking into your lies and temptations.

But that day came, when someone else came knocking at my door. Something with more promise, that didn't hurt me. Someone who didn't torture me into death, yet guided me beside still waters. Oh Dear Lies, how much happier I felt with the truth. I could laugh again. I felt complete. I was filled with a love like no other. But I was weak without knowing.

That night you crept into my room. Waking me from a peaceful slumber. Taking me into the darkness. Telling me I wasn't allowed to say no anymore, because I had failed too many times. I fell for it. I felt guilty and disgusted for what I had done before. This thing, this unexplainable hatred that I felt, this was the only punishment I would ever receive. I had sinned. And you had helped. You had a sly smile on your face, I knew you would. You had succeeded then. Bringing me farther away from the truth, and closer towards the hate and rage I felt of myself. You had won. For now.

Dear Lies. Have you never heard a fairy-tale? The prince always comes for his Princess. Even in the worst circumstances. He slays the dragon, or kills the witch. Obviously you were unaware, as even I was. That I had a prince. He came, white horse and all, to rescue me from this dungeon. I may have eaten your poisoned apple, but none was stronger than the love of thy Prince. That sly smile began to recede. And an anger driven revenge beginning to flare.

And as He led me by still waters, away from temptation, I still felt guilt. I felt a personal need to punish myself. I was to blame for all of this. I had fled from my Prince once before. I knew I was capable of doing it again. No matter how much I though I put my trust in him, I had no trust in myself.

So again I've been dragged away and enticed. Falling deeper into the darkness with your lies.
But I've grown smarter over these years. You don't know how much I know and feel. The things that I am capable of. I have a Prince, who rides that white horse. Waiting for me everytime. And now is the time. The time, where forever more, I follow him.
I'm opening that door, the light shines in. And my foot steps out, into the unknown. But I am not alone. But that is where I leave you. Alone. Where you first found me

Sincerely,
Bruised, Broken, Beautiful.

Just Row.

For:Jolene

The Door.
It closes.
The light.
It recedes.

Your eyes.
They darken.
Your life.
In need.

Those waves they crash.
Right into you.
The tears.
They fall.

Your heart.
It calls.
This masterpiece.
Will fall apart.

You're short of breath.
You've got with drawls.

This isn't gonna be easy.
Your emotions.
They're all poses.

Curtains being hung.
Windows being closed.

Those flat-footed shores.
You see where you were before.
This leaves you.
Begging for more.

The pain.
It burns.
You're heart.
It longs...It yearns.

Life will seem pointless.
Your eyes will fill.
Your fists will clench.

But know there's that special bench.
Sit down and let go.
Take up life's boat.

Just Row.

Pink Book.

Cotton.
Gosh, darn. It's so rotten.
It clogs my throat.
Giving me ... a hard time to express my words...

I love the golden arches eh mate?
Let's drive through their wicked gate.
Crikey!
Can I get a dingo burger? And crocodile strips.
..."Uh sir, we don't have those."
BLOODY HECK!

Superstar.
Where you from how's it going...
I know you. Not a clue what you're doing.
Wait...You're baking. How are those buns in the oven?

Cause I'm sure he's burning up for you baby.
But wait...I hate that song.
It drives me crazy.
When you're all heartless..
Decked in lace and leather.

I call to you.
Cause you're "Really really cute!!"

You're hair...So amazing.
How do you get it like that?
And that way you bite your lip.
I purr like a cat...

Carnations...
What a douche bag.
"What?!"
"Oh not you boyfriend...!" Haha.

Man.
I've never seen someone dance like you.
Teach me.

I hear we work well together.
If I was a man. I'd date you first..:)

Walking down the street.
Look at that boy.
We should meet.

"What did you say? Oh, he is cute!"
Ugh...Should've gotten his number while you were at that...

Skills.
Yes mine are mad.
I have a set of pipes.
A kid thinks his are more rad.

Mission Impossible.
For you two,
oh it was...
Possible?

Going home.
Oh so...
Sad?

I was mad. Two pops?
Oh yes.
That teacher had hops. French ones...
"Zehro Calories." He would say.
In such a hilarious way.

Who are you?
Don't jump...

BigCityDreams.

Oh, to hear a calling in life.
To see a future ahead.
To see a new sun rise.
To see the old one set.
Wishing to
Create.
Wishing to inspire,
to design.
To make works of art.
To make a name, a style,
For everyone.
To put together something
Magical.
The 'fabrics' of this world,
the sun, the stars,
Could be created into
the fabric of clothing,
shining and sparkling.
Wishing to create.
To inspire.
To design.
Or to speak.
To tell of stories,
of days past.
Of things that haunted me.
Things that changed me.
Hoping to change you
from what changed me.
Hoping God can speak to you
Like He spoke to me.
Wishing to share.
To inspire.
To spread hope.
Wishing to be
What I was made to be.

To: Emilee Barbour
By: Jolene Selles <3
Thank you Joe..

Come a stranger...

You tell me that I am the only one you see.
You claim, I'm a prophecy.

You told me you'd even wait ten years.
I can't really be the only one with these fears.

I can't do this, I've told you before.
But your constant comments and bring-backs,
they're like an ocean roar.

My head is spinning, my stomach twirling.
You are pushing to hard.
My emotions are hurling.

Stranger.
It's who you are to me.
Alone.
That's all I want to be.
Redeemed.
By a Savior who wants only me.

Come a stranger from the dark.
Come out from the brush, like a lark.

Sweetly talking, by and by.
As I question it.
Why, oh why.

My sanity, its slipping slowly.
All I can do is tell you I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I'm not truly the one you see.
No, you're not the key.
To unlock this mystery.

He's the key.
My Romancer.
Forever he was, and forever he will be.
He does not expect some letter of how I love him so.
Trust me, he only ever always knows.

I need him, more than I need you.
I am sorry.
But this blog is true.

To you whom I've lied.
It seemed like such a sweet lullabye.
But know, that we can still be friends...
Even if that's not your kinda trend.

Come a stranger, come into the night.
Show me your grace. Show me your light.
Be my Romancer, that's all I pray.

And maybe...He'll make us work someday...

El amor Perdió y Olvidado...

This love I've lost and forgotten.
It makes me feel rotten, that I take it, and crumple it up.
Scoring it in the trash.

Lets face it.
Let's be rational. That love.
It can't really come in such beautiful packages

You take me as your own.
And you set me on this path.
But what is my choice?
I can't hear you replying, but I know you hear me calling.

Calling out for redemption and grace.
Calling out before I lose this last race.

You write me letters, full of love.
I've got this book.
I'm sure it sells up above...

But as I walk down that path. I turn left, shoot right.
Those aren't the paths you chose for me.
All I can ask is what do you long of me?

Please give me some sign, just give me a chance.
Again, take my hand. I'm ready to stand.

Love Lost and Forgotten...El amor Perdió y Olvidado <3

Beauty in the calm and the undying.

Sitting on a freshly painted bench.
Watching all the world re-paint itself.

Taking out that hidden box.
And storing in on your shelf.

Why must you try to remember.
Why do you always push to forget.

That last time you sat on the bench.
It was chipping, but only because it was so used.

It's been a while since you've sat on this bench.
Because you know when you sit there.
All you can think of, all that you remember.
It's all based on REGRET.

As the bench wears down.
You go with it.
You fall away into deprivation and regret of yesterday.

But you forgot something on that bench.
It's in a box.
Just as it is in on your shelf.

Redemption is calling your name.
It paints your life.
But you push it away. Trying to forget.

The things you feel.
Regret. Shame. Anger.
Put that on the newly painted bench.
Enclose them in that box on your shelf.

Because there's a new bench, with Redemption all over it.
It's calling your name.
Yes, it's down the road.

It's not an easy road.
But know, you don't walk that road alone.
To your left and to your right.
You are surrounded by the unloved and ashamed.

So when you sit down on that new bench.
Let this be your calling.

See now the King of Glory
Love of God become my calling
Father I surrender all I am to You forever

You reign.

What could stand before You 
As You chose to embrace
A cross so undeserved You took for me
The weight of sin upon You 
When You offered Your life
As You walked the streets of men 
With fading strength

How could we live but not see
Your sacrifice
Your glory

You reign, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign
With power, and justice divine
Over everything Lord, You reign

What was Your last thought
As You drew Your last breath
Where the victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by Your grace
Every praise to You alone

See now the King of Glory
Love of God become my calling
Father I surrender all I am to You forever

-You Reign - Hillsong United

Falling down. Going up.

At that love and lost Park 

Where I used to sit and watch.

You.
All alone in the dark .

Knowing what you were thinking.

Wishing for a new way out.
You always said nothing would blow you away. 
And you were right.

Nothing's gonna blow you away

You're running out of clock. 

And that ain't a shock.
Some things never do change 
Never do change.

Never will it change. 

Nothing's gonna tear you down.

You said there was never any grace

For someone like you.

Well I'm here to tell you

That you know it. You HAVE it.

So why are you in such a race..

Men can do terrible things.

Yes they can.

But remember. 

Some things do change...

I love you.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4 : 15-16

Chaos and peace.

Like a rose grows on a warm day

Your words are like sunshine to mine.

I walk those streets of Vienna

Searching for the next lit town.

Yesterday was full of nothing.

And tomorrow is overflowing with everything.

The pain controls my thoughts

What I feel twist and rip at me.

Your...you...everything is my remedy.

All is lost and nothing is won.

It's time for healing.

Time to find my way... 

Down this path of insecurity.

Unable but willing.

Where I walk

These paths are unstable.

They sink

They bob and they weave.

When did I get here

And how am I so unable?

I am lost

But I keep my eyes focused

on that Saviour who saved my life.

I don't know what to ask for

But I know with his creative hands

I won't pay the cost.

He's gonna tell me what to do

Even if I only depend on those silly words

from those amazing bands.

I am the unable

I do not listen well

I don't like change.

But I am willing.

I'll give my ears to him.

I'll go where he sends. Where he leads.

I am the unable but willing.

Love Song Requiem.

What's left of me.

How did this happen.

One second I turn.

And the next I lose my sanity. 

Knowing that you weep.

Is this really...

what I want to keep?

I'm a let down.

Yet you hold me twice.

I can't go on. You bring me closer. 

But yet every second I turn.

Me. I'm gone.

I want you. I need you. 

All you wanted. 

Was to see me face down, on my knees. 

Begging for mercy, begging for me. 

You tell me everything will be just fine. 

Yet I'm the runaway all those paper backed boxes speak of.

In the daylight I recover. 

But oh, it will forever hover.

Tonight, all I wish is to curl up and die.

But you pull me tight, you hold me closer.

Don't you think, 

that I should give it a try?

What's left of me.

I know how this happened.

I pushed. I believed I could do this on my own. 

But now...

I'm all alone.

I'm having a breakdown.

I'm beginning to see the light.

All I've ever wished for, ever dreamed.

Is to climb into that captains chair.

This story. It's worth it all.

Although my actions, were without love.

I am the redeemed.

And this is my freedom song.

Although this battle has yet to be won.

I've got some help. He's up above. 

Yes this love, it's oh so rare.

And this...This is what's left of me.

The unavoidable battle.

I said I'd never go back there. 

That last step I took. 

Fully over.

But now I'm back again.

Falling harder than ever.

Can you hear me?

I wish I could erase those things...

Like those white boards, in those rooms where I was meant to become clever. 

Regret.

Why can't you see.

This is how I want it to be.

Failure.

Everytime I turn.

I lose each and every key.

Without.

There's this lacking emptiness inside me.

The darkness, taking a quick look.

Unbreakable.

Was what I thought I was.

Now it's all I wish to be.

Losing breath. 

Can't do this on my own.

It steals me like a crook.

Redemption.

I don't deserve you.

I shut you out, shoving you to the sidelines to watch my wrongdoings, and bad choices.

You still want me.

Please come for me. 

I am to weak to run. To weak to hide. To weak to even breathe anymore.

Wish upon a star.

You walk away.

All that could've been said.

No. none.

Your eyes are so dark, so kind.

Lost. everytime.

Your smile.

Melting. breathe.

Your love for Him, so astounding.

Truly. real.

I can't all but focus.

On that other she you see.

Yes, I guess it's alright with me.

But just so you know.

I fall like an aged tree.

And I break. 

Some more.

Take me.

Feel that last breath.

As I fade into the unknown.

All I can feel is darkness.

Take me.

Take me in.

My life to you I give.

Breathe.

Breathe in me.

My Savior.

Take me in.

Alone I stand.

In this bare and empty room.

The warmth I feel.

Is all but surpassing what's real.

It's you.

You're love for me.

Sigh.

Oh so real.

Take my hand.

Take me n.

My life for you I'll live.

Breathe.

That strong breath in me.

My Savior.

Take me in.

Broken and Rescued

These islands we walk upon.

grounded and lost.

We search for our lives

washed out by the sea.

No one foretold it.

No one to give that last needed answer.

He took us from the ends of the earth, from the farthest corners.

He calls;

"So do not fear, for I am with you."

"Do not be dismayed, for I am your God."

He writes us a love song.

Who measured the atlantic.

Who has held us all this time.

Who has understood us from the beginning of time.

As I walk in this darkness.

The lamps seem to be my only guide.

But my hand doesn't feel empty.

I can feel you by my side.

Yet I can feel my past.

So bleak, all those beatings.

I feel the defeat.

How could I have done this, 

and carried on with that.

But I know he redeems me

I raise my voice in these streets

Singing Him this song.

Spoken Lies and Unspoken Truth

You leave so much to the end

Making it harder to go around each bend 

Why can't you change

Just think...Outta range

That last thing you told me

Oh so sweet.

You've got me

I'm beat.

But those things that I feel

They don't change.

Sure this doesn't seem real,

Couldn't it just have been a dream?

But if it was a dream. 

It would mean it was something I wanted.

But it's not. It was. It used to be.

This hurts alot.

Making me feel lost inside

Wishing I had more guts to dig down there. Inside.

But I know for a fact, 

That this wouldn't last.

It's just a thing from the past.

No, we cannot hide it.

No, we cannot deny it.

But we can prove it wrong.

Or at least I can.

I think I can...

You tell me I have beautiful eyes.

So why all these past lies?

The things left unsaid

We would rather do without.

All these things left unsaid

Now you decide to scream and shout

Is now really the right time to bring up the Unspoken?

Is it really a truth? 

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. --Jim Davis

Last time.

It creeps at my doorstep

Claiming I still where it 

Like that chain around my neck

It tells me that I can't fight it...

But I know that's not true.

I thought it was gone.

That thing I used to feel.

Stop telling me it's real.

Cause this ain't just no big deal.

Next time it you want to show up at my doorstep.

Knock, don't think you can come right in

You're not welcome here

Never will you be.

No you're not something I fear

Sure, you've caused a few tears

You'll say "Come here my dear..."

So tempting and inviting.

Like that cookie in the jar...I can't stop this fighting.

But don't try to chain me down.

You won't win. 

See I've got this ticket...Free pass outta sin. 

He's holding my hand, turning me around.

No, my feet don't touch the ground.

In his warm, loving arms I lay.

So until that next day

When you come to my doorstep.

Know that I don't live this alone.

You can't throw it at me, like a dog after a bone.

I won't let you back in. I won't, I won't.

So don't come to my doorstep.

There's no point.

I won't let you in.

Why?

Why do you promise...

You know you can't keep it.

You tell me you're sorry. 

But that I should think more about you and how it is affecting you.

I thought you were done with this.

You claim it's hard to get over. And I know those things are.

But figure out a way to make it easy.

Cause this isn't good for us. 

You say you don't want to lose this friendship,  and that I won't talk to you.

But I'm here aren't I? 

I'm trying to figure out what is planned, but life is just a haze. 

A glimpse here, a glimpse there. 

But never of what you and I will be.

It's like a baby tree.

You never know how fast it'll grow, or when it'll sprout.

What it'll grow, no matter how long you doubt.

So let it blossom, into what it's meant to be.

So please, don't push me. Give me time, just like that cherry tree.

ME

If I don’t say this now

As I’m leaving this world I want to break

My heart is starting to separate

But I’m holding back all I want to be

Cause it just can’t be me…

But you give me the push

You give me a nudge

Saying “Stay here, don’t budge”

But I want so badly to move

Let me go, why oh why

Can’t you say no

Just let me choose and let me be

The thing that I’m not supposed to be

You see the real me

You made it,

You shaped me to be what I’m supposed to be

You’ve already got that plan

For when I step out into the world and see,

This is me.

This feels so wrong.

Why did you push

It’s taken me so long to be

Stop.

Feel.

Take in that breath.

This is really me… 

YOU CAN’T CHANGE ME

Take it whole, break it in

The pressure’s on me to be what they see

But I’m moving to slow for them

It’s not time to rest yet

My thoughts alone are to complicated

I still carry on

Hoping for that day where I climb that mountain

Cause I’ve always been strong

I can’t let this happen

Cause I need to breathe

I’m going in, so watch me be me.

I’ll be the laughing stock, because I won’t let them use me

Abuse me.

Change me.

Still I carry on.

Wanting that day when I walk out into the sun, and breathe it in

Cause I’ve always been strong

I won’t let this happen

Cause I’m gonna breathe

I’m there, on top of that mountain

I’m me.

They couldn’t take me.

Make or break me.

Cause I’m that strong

Cause I’m breathing

Breathing you in.

 

LOVE BOX

That box in your closet, it’s getting full

The things you’ve said, the things you’ve done.

The things that have happened, they can’t be undone.

But take out that box, and open it wide

Don’t be afraid

To remember what’s inside

Take out the pain, sorrow and despair

Replace it with tomorrow’s gain and care

Now leave in the disappointment and slight mistakes

They’ll help you when your world begins to break

Use them to see what you can change

But keep them a safe distance, but close range

And once you’ve put in your past experiences, the hate and the anger

Close this box of pain and danger

Wrap it in the blood red sheet

And close it, promise never to peak.

Cause now it’s all gone, the pain and the sorrow

Wake up, today is tomorrow

He’s taken it from you, taken it all away

Tomorrow will be a happy day